Domestic life and living an ignorant life have internally assaulted me.
Everything which doesn’t go my way, everything which isn’t something I desire and every reliance on any other human being enslaves me. It enslaves me to a life of constant anxiety, turmoil, and suffering. My mind can’t help not thinking this way. It’s been conditioned by society to be in control of things and to overthink things. It’s been conditioned by society to chase pleasure from events and people. This has caused my whole life to be constantly chasing or constantly putting out bushfires.
When people and situations do not go my way, I suffer.
Disappointment, anxiety, misery, and suffering are my constant companions.
Everyday seems like it never ends.
Is there a way out?
Is there a chance for freedom?
Can my suffering and misery finally end permanently?
Is a life of peace available to me?
From my own experience, every method or situation I have previously tried does not work. No amount reasoning or knowledge will solve my internal strife. Every single book or practice does not work. If these worked, I wouldn’t still be suffering and would be free.
The only thing which has worked was a realization.
The realization was that this world could offer me nothing.
Every single technique or trick or “doing” has only led to suffering.
Every single person I have ever met or relied upon has only led to suffering.
All that has happened to me has led only to suffering.
If every single event or person has led to suffering, the only thing I could do is to let go searching for happiness from events or other people. To let go of wanting things to go my way because it only leads to pain.
This has forced me to be dispassionate about everything because I realize the events in my life lead only to pain. This has forced me to be dispassionate and not be attached to people as it only leads to pain.
The temporary nature of events leads to a chase for more events and more happiness. This chase for happiness only leads to pain. No person in my life gives me anything of lasting value because every person in my life has led to pain or a chase for more companionship.
I have decades of personal evidence to support this. Peace can only be achieved by being dispassionate. Dispassionate and detached from every event and every person. This is the only way to freedom. This is the only thing which has worked. I have no choice. I don’t want to live this way any longer.