It’s Friday night.
All my work responsibilities have ended for the day.
All my life responsibilities have been completed.
The sun has set, and night has taken its space.
The sky is colored the colors of the rainbow from the light pollution of the city.
I begin on a long walk.
There is a light wind blowing.
I make my way down the windy streets filled with suburban trees, houses, and apartments.
Most of the buildings I see are filled with people on their couches.
The rooms are dim.
The only light emanating is from the televisions on phones.
People who retired for the day watching the same channels and scrolling their phones whilst they wait for sleep.
People glued to their electronic devices.
As I walk, my mind talks automatically.
It talks about work, my desires, my past, my ex-girlfriend, what I want to do in the future, the footpath, how my superiors are work-a-holics and judging everything.
It’s an uncontrollable tornado that loudens the more I try to make it stop.
But I let it talk, I let it run wild because deep down I know I’m not my mind.
Deep down there’s two entities with this physical body: my consciousness and my mind.
I observe the mind’s chattering without forcing it to stop.
It gradually quietens down and eventually stops.
Whilst walking, there are moments of no-mind.
Moments of complete peace.
Moments where everything was okay, and I didn’t need anything or anyone.
Moments where I don’t exist.
Moments of freedom.
But the mind’s chattering keeps coming back automatically.
I have been so conditioned and been told so many lies by society that my mind has no choice but to.
I know in my heart that the decades of conditioning will take time to fix.
But one day, I will be free from the mind.
The mind will be my tool rather than my master.
I go to the supermarket on the way and grab some dinner.
Fried chicken and lemon iced tea.
I pay for the food at the registers and walk out of the supermarket with the food.
I walk down the road to the river.
There is a ferry station with a wide view of the river.
I walk to the ferry station and sit down to eat.
Its high tide and the waves reach the top of the barge.
The soothing waves crashing sounds reach my ears.
I’m reminded of the beach.
It starts to lightly rain as I’m eating.
Small droplets illuminate the dark sky from the reflection of flood lights.
I look out across the river.
There are boats on barges.
There are seagulls flying.
There are other people walking on the opposite side of the river.
I realize that it’s perfect.
My mind has stopped talking.
I realize everything has been perfect and it always will be.
The sight I’m seeing is so beautiful even though I haven’t travelled anywhere.
The water, ferry station, the sky, the rain…
It’s all beautiful. There are no judgements, no thinking about the past or the future.
As I look away from the sight, I look at the food I’m having.
How lucky and fortunate am I to be able to easily afford this food and enjoy it?!!
Each bite and sip are like eating from a 5 Michelin star restaurant.
The chicken is perfect.
The tea is perfect.
The taste is perfect.
No mind means no judgement.
What’s the point of going to any restaurant when the most mundane typical food tastes the best?
What if this is my last meal on this earth?
Of all the places to I have traveled to, of all the things I have done, of all the achievements and accomplishments I have received, nothing compares to this moment.
Nothing outside of the moment really gave me anything of lasting value.
I then realized that there’s been nothing to find…
There’s been nothing to find all along.